What we do to fit into socially accepted norms?

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
Last seen: 3 years 2 months ago
Joined: 2010-05-01 18:01
What we do to fit into socially accepted norms?

I just finished depillation of my legs - it is descending moon and non-fertile sign today, and it works - and wanted to share some emotions...

Ladys - don't you think life is sometimes a bit unfair? I do remember from 'old times' very stereotypic male answer for women's period complaints - well, you have your period once a month I have to shave every day. And where are we now? We have periods and we have to shave - and not ONLY facial part of a body. I know women who have almost full shaving - full legs, arms, armpits, moustache and bikini part. They can not tolerate waxing so they shave and some extremly unfortunate examples - partly every day, partly over a day, however more than once a week.

I was born in 1975 - I do remember stories we had in 80ies that scandinavian and other European feminists (we hardly met any americans in that time...) admired our women for being SO feminist and proudly having hairy legs. Well - it was not a custom. Armpits - yes. Legs - what's the point? We had legends in early 90ies when first girls went to be au-pair to States that unshaved girls was put to live in ground-floor room and she was forbidden to use family bathroom because she was hairy ie unclean, dirty. We just laughed at that, here.And started to shave our legs in mid 90ies.It is interesting to note that generation of our (my age) mothers is remarkably less hairy on legs than we are. Is it because they never shaved? They started to use contraceptive-bills in a very grown-up age (even mid 90ies it was not very common and available here, yet) or was food (meat etc) consisting less hormones? Who knows.

I must admit - it is cool and sensual feeling to have silky smooth legs and wear silk for example or soft thin cotton - well, in the place I do live we now wear wool mostly and it is not sensual or cool. Nor hot. It is warm in a very practical way...
But still - especially in summer-times - every time I see a man walking around with shorts and abviously having less hairy legs (NOT shaved, just noticeably less hairy) than I do (if I don't take care of it) it somehow feels like a biological insulting. :-S

Why has life to be SO hairy!?!?

(I will go to comb my hair now, to feel a little bit better...)

Last seen: 5 years 2 months ago
Joined: 2010-04-26 06:47
Re: What we do to fit into socially accepted norms?

Well said Katrin! I can say, now that I've been married a certain number of years, I no longer take such care with taming my body hair in winter months when my dear husband is the only one to know. Pits, yes, always. Because it bugs me. Legs and other below-the-waist-hair... not so much.

I get frustrated with the feminist idea that I shouldn't shave though! I don't want women to tell me what to do with my body any more than I want men to tell me what to do with it. Now that I'm past my "hooking a man" days, and a little more mature about my body image, I do exactly what I feel like... today.

Lori B.
Last seen: 8 years 3 months ago
Joined: 2010-10-09 11:14
Re: What we do to fit into socially accepted norms?

Its not just that about cleanliness or keeping up appearances. Back in the spring someone whispered and told me my arms need to be shaved. Not the pits. She was refering to my forearms that were sticking out of my sleeves! This was not a henna situation either. It was a little old lady sticking her nose into my business for no apparent reason. I admit my arms look hairy because I have light skin and dark hair on my arms but still that really bugged me. Since when has arm hair become an issue? She told me she was raised to believe that "ladies are always clean shaven." I came close to telling her off because of her implied insult but I settled for telling her I didn't get the memo saying arm hair is now considered improper. People like that aren't interested in how clean someone is or how they look. They're just trying to find something wrong with other people so they can feel better about themselves. If she has to shave every inch of her body everyday in order to feel good about herself it's her body and her time. I wish her well but I have better things to do with my time than to make sure I don't have a stray hair anywhere except on my head. If she gets disgusted by seeing hairs on other women then it's her stress and she'll have to deal with it on her own. It's not the responsibility of all of us other women to conform to her ideal.

Log in or register to post comments